I am sure that we all have lost someone that we loved dearly. Rather that be through a loss of a friendship, break up or even a death of a loved one. We all have had a lot of pent-up rage for them leaving, a heartache that they are really gone, like a piece of you is missing. Maybe even feel a little bit of guilt that you may have done something wrong, but you don’t know what you’ve done. How about the famous “what ifs?” or “what could I have done differently” thoughts.

Now how about, what can we do about those feelings? Some confronts the problem or person, some let it go and let it be till it “disappears”. What about the in between feelings. What if, it is better to just let it go? You know, shout it out, write it out, do some sort of exercise, listen to some music.

What I found to be most helpful was to write it out. Get out all of my feelings on to a piece of paper. I would either keep it stored away or burn it. I have a few friends that write music, some talk it out with me, to which I either give advice or just listen, depending on what they want. Some clean, and I really wished they would clean my house whenever they are down in the sadness, but I digress. The point is, if there is something that you enjoy and if you are sad or lost, use your enjoyment to help you get through your situation.

For example: I lost someone very dear and close to me and I have been racking my brain in trying to feel something normal again. With writing being my strong suit, I decided to write a letter, hoping that it would ease my inner wounds. And with time and a lot of letters, it did. Because nothing in our thought process ever goes away with just one session. You need to work at it until you feel its right to let go.

Within the letter I let it all come out, my feelings, memories, bargains, apologies etc. So, I wrote a little piece, just to give you an idea of what I mean.

Dear Grandmother,

I have conflictions of either being sad or angry at the confusion of why you are gone, baffles me. As to why you gave up and left the way you did. It made me angry. But then I somewhat understand as to why you chose to go which even makes me even more remorse and embarrassed of my own family.

I guess I wasn’t ready to let you go. That maybe selfish of me but I have to say that I really miss you. I miss the talks we had, the places we went, the things we did, all of it. Even if I do some of the things we use to do, it doesn’t feel complete. All because you are not there to do them with me.

The memories that I have brings tears to my eyes because I know that I will never experience the happiness that I had with you again.

I remember so much, and I guess that I just wish things didn’t end the way that they did.

Your last month’s here with us, we had a disagreement. With our family, our prides and anger issues get in the way of our judgement. With this family we never see eye to eye or get along, long enough to enjoy one evening, but you and I did. We found a way to tune everyone out and simply enjoy the gatherings.

I just want to say that I am sorry. I would give anything to just have one more day with you. To Tell you that I am sorry not only for me but for our family.

It may seem crazy, but I often dream of you. I dream of us at the fair where you used to work in the steak trailer. You’d have your dark green shirt and tan shorts with the dark green apron to match. You came out of the trailer and sat at a near bye bench, and we began our own conversation. Like we use too….

I hope that you are at peace, wherever you are at. If I have ever wronged you in any way, I am sorry and that I hope that you can forgive me.

Love always, your granddaughter.

I then end it with that and somehow, I feel that a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I also feel that she knows, or she heard my words and I like to think that she is smiling down at me and giving me small reassurance that she did hear them.

What do you do when you are stuck and feel loss? Tell me what you do down below. I’d love to hear about it.

Till then take care