Some would say that I am picky, some think I am a prude. Even heartless as well or, maybe just not interesting. Maybe even hard to love. A lot even say that I am hard to get along with??? I’m trying to figure that one out because I have many people approach me asking me for advice or to simply talk, so I don’t know about that one. Intimidating to some and occasionally a royal B!T#H. That I’m not pretty enough or I don’t apply myself every day to look pretty. I’m too uptight and need to loosen up. To wear clothes that will show more skin.
So, I may be old fashion in a way that others my age or younger could call me a prude but it’s just me, knowing what I want and know what I won’t tolerate. I think it’s called boundaries.
Yes, I prefer to be single until someone approaches me with a brain. Sure, people have pasts that they are not proud of but at least I changed mine to where it will not continue to keep me stuck in my own. I will not blame my Ex’s for my past traumas, I will move on so I wouldn’t pass it out to the next person.
So, what am I looking for, if I am not what People think I am from list above.
Well, my check list is this:
Someone who is not arrogant
someone who I can talk/connect to
someone who challenges me to be a better person
someone who is loyal
someone who is honest
I would like someone who isn’t intimidated by me or my forwardness
Notice how I didn’t say anything about physical characteristics. Sure, I would love to have a guy who is taller than me with light colored eyes, dark hair and skin with broad shoulders. But unfortunately looks fade and all we are left with, is the persons soul.
That could be the reason as to why I don’t apply myself. I would like someone to notice me for me. Especially for when we meet for our first date. Now I would dress up nicely, like knockout, wow! Come in with style! Well at least to me, I would look amazing!
I think I am waiting for something different but something spectacular, like a book character or a movie character. Yes, I know those guys aren’t real but still, even those characters have to come from somewhere?
I do hope that if we do meet, I hope that you will be patient with me. For right now, I’ll wait.
I would have to say that this was a slow book for me to get through. It had taken me months to get through the first part of its pages. I jumped on this Acotar band wagon because I was led to believe that the first book was like an off version to Beauty and the Beast. Which everyone who knows me, knows, I love the classical tale.
True to its word, in its own way, it sort of was like the classical tale, but it was so slow for me to even connect to the main character, Feyre, or even try to find a connection.
It starts out as a young huntress who goes out and tries to save her family from starvation. She comes across this gigantic wolf, what she thought was her family’s salvation was actually their doom. That night thinking of their possible happiness, in burst a terrifying creature demanding retribution for the killing of his friend’s death and for his pelt that was being sold.
So, he ends up taking Feyre to his lands where she learns of not only of his past but the past of her people as well. Between the people and the fairies. The longer that she is there the more she grows to have feelings for Tamlin, the “beast”, the High Lord that had taken her.
With every story there is always a bad, and with this one Feyre learns of Amarantha who is the High Queen of Prythian. Whom has imprisoned a lot of fae folks, including Rhysand. Which we will get to his beautiful soul later in a different blog post.
Moving on, So When Tamlin is “taken,” Feyre, then follows to rescue him but was found out by Amarantha. In order to save him, Feyre has to do three different tasks that were supposed to be impossible for most humans to do. But Amarantha knew Feyre’s weaknesses to which she uses then to her disadvantages.
You’ll have to read the book to figure out what those weaknesses were and who gave up those secretes.
All in all, this was a slow book for me until I got to the middle of the book then I was able to speed right through it.
Let me know down below as to what you think of the first book.
To tell you the truth, I really don’t think about it too much. Normally when the subject comes up I either ignore it or I change the subject. It may take a few tries but its easily put behind me. Occasionally the subject lingers for more than just a few subjects. Frankly it’s quite an annoying subject, that keeps coming up.
I am single by choice. I find it easier that way. Some would say that I am searching for something or maybe Iam trying to work on me or focus on my individual goals.
Truth, it’s because I like my freedom, my independence. True, I am searching for something, but I don’t’ know what just yet but I’ll be patient until I do.
Now do I get lonely, of course I do but it fades, and I am back to normal. I don’t dwell too much on it. I even have embraced the nickname ‘Lonewolf’. I love wolves anyway, so I am ok with the nickname as well.
I often get the questions, ‘well don’t you want to get married? Don’t you want any more children?” ‘Isn’t it selfish of you to not have a ‘father figure’ or a ‘second mother figure’ within your daughter’s life?” Oh yes, I have been asked that last question many times. I don’t take it personally, some people don’t know my thoughts or my situation. I even been told that I can’t commit to anybody or that I can’t get along with anyone. Well, that’s not entirely true. But allow me to laugh about it for a moment.
Let me explain, hopefully it will clear up a few of those questions. I’m not gay (which there is nothing wrong with that, I have many adorable gay friends). I did have a boyfriend for eight in half years. We had a beautiful baby girl together. Unfortunately, we had different views on parenting, which lead to us splitting up, for the most part.
Did I want to get married? Well, I had my moments but as I get older, marriage, to me, is just a piece of paper and few rings and a few promises that can be easily broken. As for more children, I do but I am not financially stable for another one. So, I don’t think about it as much. So, I pay attention to the baby that I do have and, in her needs, and so far, it’s been good.
The ‘father figure,’ well as a single mother, I have to play both roles. My daughter’s father is in her life but it’s a long story to tell in this blog. I do know that she knows that if she needs me, she’ll know that I’ll always be there. Besides I rather my daughter see me happy than miserable. I don’t want her growing up thinking that she has to settle for less in a relationship. Especially if she is unhappy and that she doesn’t have a choice, when she does.
I have even been told that I am prude. I’m not, I just don’t have the time to go out or start over with someone new. I’ve even been told that Iam scared. Nope, wrong again, I have nothing to be scared of.
I can tell you one thing that does bother me. I am tired of people telling me that I need a man. Well, I’ll pull a page out of that movie, Eat Pray Love with Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem. “You don’t need a man, you need a champion.” So, I’ll be patient, and I’ll wait for that “champion” I do know that I will be stubborn for when someone comes because I’ll know as to what I want and what I will not tolerate.
So, in all reality I don’t mind being single and I know that there is nothing wrong with that. I like working on me and my baby girl. I like my freedom. I like me. I am happy. I don’t have low insecurities or low self-esteem. Not that I know of. I know that I am just me and I know my worth and only the best deserves my worth.
So, tell me, if you are single, do you like being single? If so, tell me why, if not do the same. Either way I’d love to hear your brave stories.
“If your absence doesn’t affect them, your presence never mattered.”
Credited by Dido Stargaze
Like many quotes each one will affect someone a different way. That’s what I love about quotes, it can go either way. This however hits home for me.
I always try and help my friends to the best of my ability. I will give them the very clothes off my back if they need it. I even allow my friends to live with me until they are able to get back on their feet.
The thing that hurts the most is when you do that for someone and then they go out to get their own place you no longer hear from them again.
It makes you feel like you were being used and now you’re not useful to them anymore. That you were only a steppingstone beneath their feet.
It goes to show how important your “friendship” was to them. Even though it stings to have this done to you, it gives you a lesson for the next time they ask for something.
This gets you to think as to what you should do. If that opportunity ever comes around again. Do you help them, then they leave you, until they need you again? or do you just say no, I can’t help you this time?
So now that I have learned my lesson. I used to give people so many chances. Hoping they would change. I also didn’t want to lose a friend either, but it didn’t dawn on me that I was being used at the time. I thought of it as them ‘being down on their luck.’
Now sure I’ll help you but if I don’t hear from you for months or years, then no. I am realizing that I am no one’s steppingstone and I will not be placed on the back burner until you’ll need me again.
So, from now on, I will not plead endlessly to get attention from them. If they don’t answer to my call or text within months, even though you can see that they have read it, then I’ll pay the same respect they have given me.
My promise to myself is that I will not dwell on someone who doesn’t want to be around me. So, if my absence doesn’t matter to them neither will their absence matter to me.
I will wish you well and good luck in life. Because you lost a good lifelong friend who would do anything for you.
Would that make me bitter or am I doing the right thing?
Let me know in the comments below of your thoughts.
Over the weekend, it was just too cold to go out and play. So, we stayed in and made candles out of wax beads.
The box that we received at Walmart was an ultimate candle making kit. It came with three glass containers, three wicks, seven different color wax beads and a stick to make designs.
My daughter picked out her container, then I, with the last we decided to do one together. I helped get hers together and just watched as she filled to make her colored candle. She was very careful in pouring in the wax.
When she was done, it was my turn to make mine. She held the wick still as I began to pour the wax in. When I was done poring, I asked her as to what color I should choose next. This lets her know that I value her opinion. Which I love to see where her imagination takes her.
Finally, we came to the third container. We decided that we would go back in forth in filling it. Even though it was supposed to be my choice in choosing a color, I still asked my daughter as to which one I should choose next.
The stick that I had mentioned was a designing stick. I picked up my container and started sticking at the sides to make a star like shape all around although it was just an upside-down triangle. My daughter saw what I was doing and wanted to try it as well.
When done, you have to press down the wax to compact it, then leave it out for 24 hours before lighting it.
The 24-hour mark came, and my daughter was so excited to light it. When we did it was just an ordinary candle to me but to her, she was so proud of what she made. Which she should be, because she made it. The excitement it in her eyes was amazing to see!
If you need something to do with your kid or kids, I highly recommend doing this fun activity. Now it’s for 8+ kids but if you do go younger just be mindful with your kids to keep them safe and watch them closely.
Let me know what you and your kids do. Was it fun for them and for? You let me know down below. Till then talk to you later.
Why are you still confused as to what you want to do? Are you still afraid of failing? Afraid of trying something new? Are you afraid of our own time management skills?
The question is why? Why are we afraid to do the things we want to do? What we need to do?
For the longest time we’ve been wanting something different, something fulfilling but at the same time a profitable fulfillment to take care of our daughter properly. But what?
We wanted to go and do so many things but had no courage in doing it or even finish it. Because we are afraid of failure, of embarrassment?
We just need the encouragement to do it and get through it. We have the support, it’s just us not understanding the process. We get flustered and then we freak out and give up on ourselves.
We’ll let me just say this, we have to stop this process. We have to start believing in ourselves to actually do what we encourage so many around us to do.
We are capable of doing so much more, we just let fear get the best of us. This needs to stop! Cause we both know we are smart. We are always asking questions because we don’t’ always get it the first time. Which is fine, we learn differently, everybody learns differently. So, we are not alone. We learn to adapt.
I also know how stubborn we can be too. When someone says, ‘no don’t do that’, we end up doing it anyways. So, let’s try to imply it to learning new things.
Let’s find the courage to try something new and finish what we started.
If you get overwhelmed, take a step back, take a breather then come back at it at a different angle. This is what we will try differently this round.
I believe in us. Let’s prove to the people who doubt us that we can do whatever we want and can achieve our goals, our dreams.
Young adults, supernatural, suspense, romance novel
The lead heroine, Karen, of this story is an 18-year-old girl, who starts out as a babysitter to two small children. For a brief moment her boyfriend comes over as the children play outside, when her boyfriend finally leaves, Karen realizes that the oldest one of the two kids is missing. She searches everywhere and still no luck. Karen then calls the police.
An officer Ronald Wilson arrives at the scene and the most stunning attribute about the man was his vivid blue eyes. When Ronald wasn’t concerned about the missing boy Karen then starts having vision of Bobby, the little boy. Karen sees what he sees and what she sees is that he’s in a box. She then smells what Bobby smells, she then feels Bobby getting close. At the same time, she sees her Boyfriend Tim pull up. Running up to Tim, she asks him to open his trunk. When he did, to all of their surprise, Bobby was there, unconscious but alive.
This however intrigued office Wilson as to how she knew he was in the trunk. Even though he watched Karen as she mumbled to herself of what was happening as though she was in a trans. Officer Wilson then asked Karen to help him on a missing girl’s case. Now her mother is against her using her abilities, but Karen wanted to help. Officer Wilson then had taken Karen to a missing girl home. When she sees and feels nothing, they leave feeling in failure. While driving her back to her home Karen begins to feel sick then psychic messages began to fill Karens head, leading her to a riverbank. When they come across some sandals, visions of the missing girl’s day came flooding to Karen mind right up to the time of the missing girls’ death. Coming out of her trance the police then searched the riverbank and found the missing girl.
The following months, Karen graduates, her and Tim breakup and she finds work at a local daycare center. When Karen goes to walk home, she notices a little girl. She couldn’t see her face and the little girl doesn’t say a word but just points. Karen looks to see that the girl is pointing for her to go another way. By then it was too late, Karen was offered a ride home and she had taken it. Her destination was not her home, she was taken to an apartment of her two abductors. When she doesn’t give them what they want they end up knocking her out. When she comes around, she sees the faceless little girl who only shows her back this time, but recognizes the hair, stand before her. Again, the girl then points to the candle then the alarm.
Karen, as instructed, starts a fire and the little girl disappears. Once rescued Karen realizes that half the babies from her daycare are missing. One of the missing children is officers Wilsons Nephew. Feeling guilty and refusing her mother’s wishes again she helps Officer Wilson find these children.
The rest you’re just going to have to get the book and read for yourself. I have read this book 100 times to the point I wore out the spine of the book. Pages were falling out and I held it to together with tape. So, it just shows as to how much I love this book. I even talk about it with my coworkers, to the point where I think I annoyed them, but they ended up buying me a new book. Till this day I still reread it. I even kept my old book as a momentum.
This book was a nonstop suspense for me. A real page turner and I ‘d be happy to tell everyone and anyone about it.
If you end up reading it, let me know what you think. Even better, if you know any other books like this one let me know I would love to read more like this book. Happy reading!!!
I was asked what would I do if I won the lottery, The Mega million jackpot, what would I do with it?
Well, If I won the lottery, I would first:
pay off all of my debts
build my dream house (and sorry it isn’t a big one, just a simple one)
a new car
a new mortocycle
take a few classes
save back for emergency
make a few of my daughters dreams come true
then donate the rest
Let me explain.
I would like to pay off all of my debts from school, credit cards, Morgage, car payments. pay my car insurance and internet in a year’s advance, giving me the time to catch up on my bank account status.
For the new house, now don’t get me wrong, I love the house that I am in now, but I could use an upgrade, and this house was a life saver for me to get away. This one I would love to have a corner stone fireplace, hardwood floors, in every room. Five bedrooms would be nice. My bathroom would have a walk-in spiral shower, the mirror would have a vintage barn door slide to reveal shelves behind them, on both sides of the mirror. In the laundry room there would be a fold out table to fold out the clothes and organize them to go in baskets to get them to where they need to go. With me being an ad vide reader I want a huge and I mean a huge library! but along with this library it will be my Zen room/ office/ sunroom but hidden for only me to use. My little get away to well, get away. A Beautiful kitchen well lite to cook in with an island and lots of counter space and shelving. Meaning a walk-in pantry. A table to sit at near a floor to ceiling window, for family time. As for the outside of course there would be a front porch by why stop there? That thing will wrap itself around the whole house. Big enough to have rocking chairs, swings, hammocks, covered by a roof so we wouldn’t get rained on. There would be a place for a grill, table and fire pit to enjoy those summer days. Seeing that we live in Ohio I would like to have a finish basement but with concrete floors for us to maybe rollerblade around on in the winter months or on rainy days. The yard would depend on my daughters wants and the other want I want. Along with a three-car garage to store of course the cars, motorcycles, lawn mower and any other outdoor tools.
Why the new car? Well for my job I drive a lot! With some winters and our busy schedule, I like to be prepared but I would like to have a Highlander Hyundai Tucson and a Jeep Cherokee. Something that is easy on gas and big enough due to me and my daughter being so tall and enough to haul her sports luggage around.
As for the Motocycle, I already have a 2008 Honda Shadow Ace Sabra 1100, that I have practically rebuilt to being new with the help of my stepfather, but I would also like to own a Honda Rebell 1100 one day, but we will see. Why you say? It’s just pretty!!! lol A teal one with silver bars with black bags would be beautiful in my eyes.
Next on my list would be lessons/ classes that I learn on my own time. For instance, I would by Rosetta stone with the different languages. Learn, Spanish, Indonesian, be more advance in Cherokee, Irish, Greek, Latin for starters. Then pay for computer classes for writing classes, psychology, maybe take a dance class or cooking class. Learning something different just to peak my interests. Can’t hurt to learn new things or educate myself with more knowledge of what I want to learn.
I then would put back ten grand for my daughter, myself and for any emergency, to get that started. Then add another account for if any family or close friend that needs help getting back on their feet. Everybody or someone just need a little help once in a while. Why not pass it along?
As for my daughter, she always wanted a horse/ dog farm. She said she only wants one horse to ride maybe two for us to ride together but no more. I am thinking she realizes that they are a lot of work to take care of. Then there is the dog farm part. Bless her, her heart is in the right place. She wants to have a huge barn that is sectioned off for each dog and leveled for each floor so that way they will have a warm place and a bed to lay on and a roof to lay under. To keep it clean, at the back of each stall there will be a shoot to where we can push the old straw or debris from the dog’s room. Pull a lever and it will tilt up having gravity pull the old hay and debris down to wagon to be thrown out. Wide open space for the dogs to run and play to their hearts content until their life ends or if they are adopted. You see she just learned that some places euthanize dogs, and she felt really bad. She wants us to adopt all of them to give them a second chance and call the place that. Second Chance. I love the thought very much because I adore dogs. So, the yard question from up above, maybe 10 acers isn’t too much?
Last but not least, I would donate the rest to charity. I would split that up cause there are so many charities that I would love to donate too. St Jude’s Hospitals, Shelters around the world for Aspca, wounded warrior project to help our soldiers, regardless if they are wounded or not. They deserve to be taken care more for their sacrifice and bravery. Foster cares for children in general for help if they were abused, for their education, food clothing etc. Also, for the mental health organizations.
With the jack pot being $1.28 Billion (as of right now) I don’t need all that money. I know the things I want seem sort of selfish but the way I think about it is, if I have a steady ground then I can help those around who don’t. Just until they are on their feet. Hence the reason for the spare bedrooms and double SUVs so they have a place to stay and a working vehicle. Then that ten grand would be helpful for Maintenace if needed or clothes for them to wear.
If you won, the lottery what would you do with your money?
It’s been said that short burst of scares can strengthen the immune system. In that particular moment our bodies become superhuman. We become more alert to our surroundings. An adrenaline rush, that floods oxygen to the muscles, that give you that strength from any particular stress.
But this quote doesn’t mean that!
From my opinion, this quote means be fearless to live your life. Some things will be easy but there will be some that will be hard. Then you will have things that will scare the living Hell out of you. Whatever you decide, allow yourself to be fully immersed into what you are going to do.
For instance, this Blog, scares the living crap out of me. I’m worried that I won’t be able to have the financial freedom out of this to support my daughter. I’m worried of the comments that I may see within these comments below. But I have to remember that I am doing this for me and my mental health, as well as for my daughter.
The way I see it is if I can do this for my daughter and she sees that I am okay, that I am trying, then she will know that we will be okay. That she will know that she will be okay as well. She will also learn to live her life without fear. To live life to the fullest but be smart about it.
So, if next time you are going to try something new, that benefits you and your life. Be sure to fall through with it. Do it until it becomes a natural thing for you.
You shouldn’t have to fear life and all of its wonders. Go out and explore! Find out what you want or find out what you can do. What you’re capable of.
Remember when we were kids, we had Legos growing up? Always building buildings, animals or anything we could think of or at least to what our imagination allowed us to believe. Then we would rush to show it to our parents, with such pride, in our eyes, of our work of what we built. Just to hear them say, “Oh, wow, look at that!” or “Oh, how cool!” Never did I think that it would be twice as fun to build, now that I have a daughter!
My daughter received a couple boxes, one of city Lego farmer’s market. We had to build a veggie truck and a stand to go with it. The other called wild animal rescue missions. Where we built a truck and an alligator from the wilds!
There were directions to the veggie truck, like an actual step by step book, like the good old times. With the wild animal rescue missions, we had to download the QR code and follow the story line to making the truck and alligator. Huge difference there, for me at least.
Let me tell you, that was an experience! Me, being technically prone, was a pretty, interesting, intense concentration on my part. It was so worth it though. I may have formed a headache afterwards but so worth it!
Of course, once we were done, we had to build other things with her other Legos. We made a “Phone”- my daughters’ version. Then I had to “make” my version of a phone that I had when I was a kid. Oh, yeah, a banana looking device with a cord attached or an antenna at the top for the cordless version. All my daughter had to say to me was that my phone wasn’t a phone. I had to Marco polo my mother just to prove that that my phone, was real!…….Once upon a time ago….
Tell me, do you build with your kids with their Legos? If so, tell me down below, what do you guys make? Also did you make something that your kid hasn’t seen before and how did you prove it?
