So, with November being the thankful month, let’s start this month off with what we are most thankful for. For starters let’s just name three things that I am grateful for and maybe as the years progress, I can add on.
The three things that I am Grateful for.
- First and foremost, is my daughter. She is my whole world. I am sure that you hear that from any parent about their child. Which is true, for any parent, who love their children. Mine I think, in my eyes, saved my life before I even knew her, knew her name, knew her gender.
I was told that I could never get pregnant due to my then obesity and a shot that I was on that apparently “destroyed” my ovaries. I was a heavy drinker due to my depression, who I hid really well from loved ones and friends. Which lead to further damages, which we won’t go into further detail on that just yet. Along with drinking, I also smoked, at least a pack a day. I wanted to disappear within my day and not be found.
One day, my then boyfriend and I were at Ceder point having fun on what seemed to be the hottest day of the year! So, we drank so much water that day I swear I could have floated on Lake Erie. When we left that night, we had dinner, and we had to go the store for some supplies. That was when almost every store was open 24 hours before covid.
While shopping I began to throw things into the cart that contained cherry flavored items. Like Cherry flavored drinks, snacks, cakes, candies, Ice cream, etc. My ex stopped the cart while in mid aisle and asked as to what was up and I said nothing I just said that I was in the mood for Cherry flavored stuff and suggested we should go to the grocery side and get some actual cherries. He suggested we should get a test. I shrugged and said whatever, thinking that nothing would come of it. Boy was I wrong.
After that strip turned a different color and made an appointment for the doctor to confirm it. My habits of smoking, drinking, depression, obesity and actually taking care of myself changed the instant that that stick turned a different color.
Needless to say, I am beyond grateful, blessed, lucky,….words cannot express how I can explain as to how I can or tell you the magnitude of emotions for this individual that has come into my life unexpectedly. And I have no regrets.
2. The family that I have left.
I have family, don’t get me wrong but there is a rift in the family to where we are not close at all. I only talk to my mom and my brother and that is it. Sure, I have a dad who somewhat tries only because I am well past 18 and he no longer has to pay child support and no longer thinks that I am a mindless idiot, even though I am one of the most successful ones out of all of his kids, next to my sister. (Different mother). I have Aunts and Uncles on both sides. On my mother’s side, I am a walking taboo, in their eyes. After my grandmother past no one ever gets together anymore. On my father side, I just feel awkward like I don’t belong there.
So, my family contain only my mother, brother, my daughter and my step-father and some of his family members. We Just keep it small. We see the others from time to time and pass a hello here and there but that is the extent of greetings.
3. Friends that I manage to keep.
I know the way I worded it may sound funny. Friends that I manage to keep. What does that mean????
Well… I did mention before I am very blunt and very few people like me for who I am, and a lot of people do not like me because of my forwardness. I have very few friends which I shouldn’t really call them friends now because of the length that I we have been together. They are more like family than my real family.
So, if I can change what I am grateful for, it is for my friends that I have made into family. These individuals have been through thick and thin with me and vis versa. Whenever I was in trouble they were there and if they were in trouble, I was there for them. It’s to the point we have somewhat matching tattoos, we ride bikes, we communicate without even talking and we just know and if we do go long periods without talking, we pick up right where we left off like nothing was a miss. We don’t judge one another, often, of what we do, choose, act, or say. We are just one.
I guess we really do pick and choose our family if we want to. I think I picked the best ones!
What are you grateful for? Let’s start November off with something that we are proud of. So, let’s hear it, what are you grateful for?